Archive for November 24th, 2008

whats good blogging world its been a hard last 2 weeks for me i been trying to get used to this new change thats about to happen in my life its a change that i tried to change but it didnt happen now i feel like lost in this big small world in my head i keep thinking what to do what to do who can help me would i except anyone help if i choose to ask or if someone would see right threw me and ask for themself would i take up there offer knowning me i would try to act strong when im really weak i would love for things to stay the way it is but i dont have magic powers if i did then i wouldnt be writing this im sharing my pain wit people who dont know me for shit but the one thing we have in common is pain so u would understand me 100% i feel let down by the one person that had my back from day one i cant blame this person for wanting what they want but i feel u already have what u looking for u just cant see it all the silly back and forward is just what life is about i feel so alone i dont know whats gonna happen the future looks i dont even know u say im still gonna be around but i havent seen u in 2 days and u still live herre so what u think gonna happen when u leave people always say what sounds good at the time and i guess thats why u said u still gonna be around cuz it sounds good in my mind if i take your place and u talked to me about staying plezz i would of said i could never do that to u cuz u the number one in my life and we would fight threw it but when u have something to prove to people who was never there in the first place it always turns out to be the wrong idea and move now that u on some self discovery i wonder when u was going threw your shit some years ago maybe i should of been like well that have nothing to do wit me am on some self discovery shit then how would u feel hurt maybe who knows there alot am holding back from saying a part of me is so so mad my father call me and u know what he said dont worry about them u just have to do u and get your shit together yeah that sounds good but if i do that what would that make me it would make me just like her yes i wanna make my life better but witout family its nothing something that i came to understand is stronger than anything on earth some people say im acting like a kid maybe its the kid inside of me that feel this way im scared time waits for no one am one age but my mind still remembers kids stuff like it was yesterday how can u shake that they say life throws u curves ball but what if its a fast ball think about that for amin im really trying to over come how i feel hopefully i can shake it but how i feel right now i really dont know is this a cry for help i dont know maybe just trying to show that pain is in everyone and no icy hot can relieve lifes pain and i dont think for self i think for we and thats all gotta say for now biggs out…..

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